My Love Story With Carrie — A Love I Will Carry Forever ❤️🕊️💜

I have held so much of this story inside my heart for so many years. Some memories make me smile, some make me cry, and some still hurt so deeply that I do not know if I will ever have the right words for them. But this is our story. This is my story with you, Carrie. It is a story about friendship, love, pain, addiction, recovery, second chances, dreams, heartbreak, and a love that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Carrie, I wish you were here to read this.

Our lives became connected when we were young. From 2006 to 2009, I attended Odessa High School, and you attended Permian High School. We were both growing up, trying to figure out who we were and what we wanted from life. We were young, and neither one of us could have known how much we would go through or how deeply our lives would become connected.

In 2006, you did something for me that I will never forget. At a time when I was making dangerous choices and struggling with drugs, you stopped me from taking fentanyl. You tried to pull me away from that life. You cared about me, even while you were struggling with your own problems. I will always remember that you were there for me during one of the darkest times in my life.

That is something I carry with me every day. You helped save me when I was going down a dangerous path. You saw something in me worth fighting for, even when I was struggling to see it myself.

But I also watched you struggle.

You had your own battles with addiction, and it broke my heart because I loved you so much. You were also dealing with multiple sclerosis for a long time. You carried more pain than many people knew or understood. I watched you fight through difficult days, and I know life was not easy for you.

In 2008, we both made the decision to try to get better. We went into recovery and rehab because we wanted a different life. We wanted to heal. We wanted to survive what addiction had put us through. That time meant so much to me because we were trying to become better people and leave the pain of the past behind us.

I was proud of us for fighting.

Then, on October 13, 2008, our story became even more important to me. We became best friends, and our bond continued to grow. At first, we were friends who were there for each other through everything, but eventually, our friendship became something much deeper.

We both had dreams of finding happiness and being loved. We both wanted to find someone who would treat us right. Instead, we both experienced broken and abusive relationships. We knew what it felt like to have our hearts hurt. We knew what it felt like to be disappointed by the people we trusted.

Maybe that was one of the reasons we understood each other so well.

We had seen each other at our worst. We knew about each other's struggles. We knew about the pain, the mistakes, the addiction, and the broken relationships. And through so much of it, there was still a connection between us.

In 2009, we both graduated from high school. I graduated from Odessa High School, and you graduated from Permian High School. We were entering adulthood with dreams for the future. Looking back now, I wish I could go back to those days for just one moment. I wish I could see you again when we were young, before life took us through so many difficult roads.

Then, in 2011, when you started struggling with drugs again, my heart broke. After everything we had been through and after watching us both fight to recover, it hurt me so badly to see you going back down that road. I was scared for you. I was hurt. I did not know what to do or how to make everything better.

But even when my heart was hurting, I still loved you.

I never stopped caring about you.

Then, in 2012, we found our way back to each other in a way I still cannot fully explain. Something brought us back together, and this time, our relationship became more than friendship. You became my best friend and my lover. You became one of the most important people in my life.

I fell deeply in love with you.

Your mother accepted our relationship, and that meant so much. I was so happy being with you and so deeply in love that I kept our relationship private from my own family. For me, I was just happy to have you. I was happy to love you and be loved by you.

You gave me so much of what I had always wanted.

You gave me friendship.

You gave me love.

You gave me memories I will never forget.

You gave me hope that maybe, after everything we had been through, we could still have a beautiful future together.

We dreamed of being a family. We talked about the life we wanted and the future we could build. I imagined growing old with you. I imagined us continuing to fight for each other and getting through whatever life put in our way.

Then came 2016.

After living with multiple sclerosis for such a long time, you finally became clear of it in 2016. I remember how much you had fought and how much you had been through. After all those years of struggles, I wanted so badly for life to finally be kind to you.

And then came one of the happiest moments of my entire life.

In July 2016, on your birthday, I proposed to you.

I asked you to marry me.

And you said yes.

I will never forget that moment for as long as I live. Hearing you say yes was one of the happiest moments of my life. For that moment, I felt like our dreams were finally coming true. After all the years of friendship, the struggles, the heartbreak, the recovery, the addiction, the times we found our way back to each other, and everything we had survived, I thought we were going to have our forever.

I thought we were going to become a family.

I thought we still had so much time.

But on August 22, 2016, my world changed forever.

You died by suicide, and I still struggle with the pain of losing you. I wish with all my heart that I could have saved you. I wish I had known how deeply you were hurting. I wish I could have been there in the moment you needed someone most. There are so many times I have asked myself what I could have done differently, even though I know I cannot go back and change what happened.

I wish I could have held you.

I wish I could have told you how much I loved you one more time.

I wish I could have reminded you that you were not alone.

I wish I could have saved you, Carrie.

When I learned that you were struggling with drugs again, it hurt me so deeply. I loved you, and watching you struggle was heartbreaking. Addiction took so much from both of us at different times in our lives. I wanted so badly for you to be free from that pain and to have the life we had dreamed about together.

But no matter what happened, I never stopped loving you.

That is something I want people to understand.

You were not just the way you died.

You were not just your struggles.

You were not just addiction.

You were my best friend.

You were the woman I loved.

You were the woman I wanted to marry.

You were someone who helped me when I was struggling in 2006. You stopped me from making a choice that could have taken my life. You were there for me, even while you were fighting your own battles.

You were someone who fought to get better.

You were someone who went through rehab and recovery with me in 2008 because we both wanted another chance at life.

You were someone who fought through illness.

You were someone who knew pain but also knew how to love.

You were someone who said yes when I asked you to marry me.

And you will always be a part of me.

It has been years since I lost you, but my heart still carries you. Some days, I think about the little things. I think about our conversations. I think about our dreams. I think about the years when we were best friends before we became lovers. I think about 2006, 2008, 2011, 2012, your birthday in July 2016, and the day in August when everything changed.

There are so many memories, and every one of them is a piece of our story.

I still wish you were here.

I still wish we could have had the wedding we talked about.

I still wish we could have become the family we dreamed about.

I still wish I could hear your voice.

I still wish I could see you smile.

I still wish I could go back to July 2016 and stay in that moment when you said yes, when my heart was full of happiness and hope for our future.

I know I cannot change the past. I cannot bring you back, no matter how badly I wish I could. But I can tell our story. I can speak your name. I can remember the good times. I can remember the woman you were beyond every struggle and every painful chapter.

Our love story did not end because you are no longer here with me. It changed. Now, I carry your memory in my heart.

From being two young people attending different high schools—me at Odessa High School and you at Permian High School—to graduating in 2009, to becoming best friends, to going through recovery together, to finding our way back to each other, to falling in love, and finally to the day I asked you to marry me and you said yes, our lives were forever connected.

I will always be grateful for the love we shared.

I will always be grateful that you helped me when I needed someone.

I will always remember our dreams.

And I will always love you.

Carrie, if love alone could have kept you here, you would have lived forever.

I hope that wherever you are, you are finally at peace. I hope there is no more pain, no more illness, no more addiction, no more fear, and no more suffering. I hope you know how deeply you were loved and how deeply you are still missed.

You were my best friend.

You were my love.

You were my future wife.

You were one of the greatest loves of my life.

And no amount of time will ever erase the place you have in my heart.

Rest in peace, my beautiful Carrie. I will keep your memory alive. I will remember our love story. I will remember the girl who helped save me when I was lost. I will remember the woman who said yes to marrying me. I will remember you for your heart, your love, your strength, and all the memories we shared.

Until we meet again, my beautiful angel, I will love you forever and miss you every single day. ❤️🕊️💜

Forever my best friend. Forever my love. Forever my Carrie.

In Loving Memory of Carrie May Wright
July 21, 1989 – August 22, 2016 🕊️